You look at your phone. You said 8:00pm and it’s 8:30pm. Is she just running late? Why isn’t she answering your texts? You finally feel your phone vibrate. It’s Jessica.
“Hey Zac, I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. I got caught up, sorry”
She flaked on you. What should you do?
When a girl flakes on us, our gut reaction is to get angry and possible take our anger out on said girl. How could she be so rude to stand you up for a date!? Whether it was the day before, a few hours before, and even when the date was supposed to happen, we have to figure what to do when a girl flakes on us.
Why Did She Flake?
Girls don’t flake for no reason. Whatever she told you is most likely a lie. She’s known about this date for a while, and obviously didn’t share the same interest in it that you did. The only caveat to this message is if she cancels on you, but immediately reschedules, giving you a concrete day in the future for another date. Without some type of rain check though, she does not like you enough at this moment to go on a date with you.
I want you to think about something. If this girl had a date with Brad Pitt, would she have flaked on him… probably not. This means her interest level in you is not high enough at this point to want to go on a date with you. There are a few reasons her interest level could be low:
- You scheduled the date too soon, not building enough rapport with said girl to make her feel comfortable with you.
- She’s having second thoughts because she just doesn’t find you attractive enough, or like your personality enough, to go on a date with you.
- She found someone she likes more.
Whatever the reason, a girl flaking on you is something you cannot allow. Now I’m not saying to get angry at her, call her names, etc. But you have to show her you will not accept her flaking for a date both of you agreed upon. I won’t say any names, but I read on one website (**cough dailymanliness cough**) to say something like “no problem” and act like it is no big deal. No big deal?? Allowing a girl to do this to you and then saying “no big deal” sends a clear message that you are a limp fish who likes getting spanked. As in it shows you are a complete wuss, and she can walk all over you anytime.
Again, you are a man. As a man, you cannot let a woman whom you don’t know that well completely blow you off for a date you both committed to. So what should you do? The first thing you should do is immediately cut off contact with this girl. Don’t send her any texts, calls, etc. As soon as you get a text saying something like “can’t make it” without a raincheck, immediately cut off contact. I go over the next step of this process in my book Mastering the Game, as in what to do if she contacts you, when to initiate contact, etc., but this article provides you with enough knowledge to know what to do if you’re ever caught in this scenario.
Let me know what you think of this strategy in the comments below, and if you’ve ever been in a scenario like this and what you did!
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